Showing posts with label Rednecks/Hillbillies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rednecks/Hillbillies. Show all posts

14 September 2012

Worm Fishing Techniques


Worm Fishing Techniques
with Ken Cook
United States - 1985
Concord Video, 1985, VHS
Run Time - 30 minutes


This receipt was folded up and stuffed in the box, pushed to the top by the cassette. It's dated 1991. Ahhh, the golden ages, how I miss them.

12 December 2011

Creature From Black Lake


United States - 1976
Director - Joy Houck Jr.
Simitar Entertainment, 198?, VHS
Run Time - 1 hour, 30 minutes

There is an appealing charisma to Cryptozoology. It’s as if the beliefs themselves are contagious; the more you are around a believer, or the more of the “evidence” you consume the more you want to believe it. It is a bit like drinking actually, the more you consume, the less logical you become. Oh, it might be laughed at and shunned by other more “hard science” advocates, but the disappearance of the PhD in Cryptozoology is indisputably one of the great academic tragedies of the last 50 years. Most people aren’t aware, but as recently as the early 1980’s, respectable institutions of higher education were actually just wildly throwing money at cryptid research.

Drinking deeply a heady draught of Bigfoot lore in class, University of Chicago anthropology students Pahoo and Rives decide that this is the perfect subject for their graduate research project. After a casual chat in the hall secures the necessary funding, they’re off on a leisurely swing through the Southern United States in pursuit of a vague rumor. I’m sure it must have sounded brilliant at the time. “Check it out, we’ll drive south on the Department’s dime, do a few interviews and take a few pictures to justify the expenditure and dazzle those dumb backwards yokels with our big city educated vocabulary. They’ll probably worship us as gods the poor inbred fools.” While we may lament the general lack of respect that cryptozoologists now receive from the rest of the academy, it is perhaps understandable considering their unconventional research methods.

You see, tracking down a bigfoot, yeti, bipedal primate, skunk-ape or whatever you want to call it, may have been the excuse, but freedom and adventure is the reason. That’s because Creature From Black Lake is at its core just a buddy road movie and there’s nothing for a good time like a couple of long-hairs stirrin’ up trouble in a small southern town. Our Yankees may be full of ivory-tower assumptions about Southern backwardness and a mandate to analyze and catalogue the local fauna, but they still have to deepen their friendship and learn something about life along the way.

The hitch is that between pull tabs of beer, pawing underage southern belles and nights in the county jail the boys do more or less accidentally succeed in experiencing “Southern Culture,” or at least a movie stereotype modicum of it. And in spite of themselves they do stumble across a “Creature”, or at least, the silhouette of some guy in a fuzzy sweater. Of course, nobody back at the University believes them, but that’s to be expected. After all, it is more about the process than the product isn’t it?


This nice poster (which also made it to a DVD cover) from Wrong Side features art from Ralph McQuarrie, one of the primary artists behind much of the visual design that became Star Wars.

24 November 2011

Gobbler Bustin' Huntin' Movie


Gobbler Bustin' Huntin' Movie
United States - 1991/2
Director - Jim Nabors?
Wild Venture Productions, 1992, VHS
Run Time - 1 hour, 50 minutes

11 October 2010

Rivals

Who could resist that awesome cover?

United States - 1978
Director - Lyman Dayton
Dayton Video, 1981, VHS
Run Time - 1 hour, 36 minutes

Oh, the romantic stoicism of the Western frontier. It was the birthplace of a myth of manhood and intrepid destiny that defined a nation and a culture. It came to symbolize a coming of age, both national and personal which has permeated our self image for over 150 years. It is the idea of individual perseverance and the role of physical labor and tradition which has been seen as the bedrock of traditional American morality, and to which director Dayton has returned time and again in his narratives. In Rivals he drops that legendary trope directly into the swirling materialistic void of disco-age modern urban high-school.

When the patriarch of a Wyoming sheep ranching family dies, his family returns to the mother’s home city. The story from here on is concerned almost exclusively with Adam (co-producer Stewart Peterson) the eldest son and cipher of the idealized American West myth. His arrival in Los Angeles initiates a profound clash of cultural values, and the question of the nature and definition of historical progress as it plays out in the juvenile hijinks of 3rd period science class. Director Dayton knows that every piece of thought provoking cinema should build a tension between possibility and probability, between myth and reality. If it is to be called a “film” rather than just a “flick”, a movie has to develop a dichotomy between what we want, and what we can realistically have. It must mix the viewers own internal conflict with that of the protagonist; a conflict between his desire to be liked and his desire to do good works.

Rivals is precisely one such film. Adam is a cleansing angel, stepped from the pages of a storybook to remind us that we modern slobs lost our way. The faith and honesty of a simpler, more tactile way of life mythologized in the rural West and from which we have strayed, is our only possible salvation. Justifiably singled out by his morally inferior peers as the “new kid” and a hick to boot, Adam must prove himself superior to the vindictive and vain behavior of the local cool guy, Clyde “Clutch” Turner.

Yes, it sounds as if someone accidentally switched the names on these two characters, but it must be recalled that Adam is an emissary of the Eden that is a Wyoming sheep ranch and as such he represents a more “pure”, pre-corrupt state of humanity. He is mythologized ideal (and blonde!) subsumed in the seething cauldron of venality that is the Los Angeles public education system. The question however is, will Adam retain his rugged but gentle stoicism after being locked in an outhouse and bleated at derisively by Clutch and his boneheaded sidekicks Gimper and Sludge?

Despite an overwhelmingly compelling set of characteristics, Adam is at a disadvantage. In addition to his smokin’ custom Dodge Van, Clutch has Brooke (Dana Kimmell, Friday the 13th III), his girlfriend, and Brooke has the barely restrained force of girly-parts and popularity on her side. Can we really expect a person, even a personified myth such as Adam to resist such a deadly combination of temptations. Let’s be realistic here, no matter how much we pine and mutter longingly about the gritty immediacy of morality and “truth” in the murky distance of history, perfection is simply a self-deluding fantasy. Even a myth needs a girlfriend, and disco dancing is just sooooo much fuuun!


Man, you're just way too humble farmer dude, I can't resist! For blowing up my custom van and putting me in my place, I'll let you have my girlfriend.


This alternate VHS box art comes courtesy of my friend Michael at Cinema du Meep. Thanks for sharing!

09 April 2010

Vigilante Force


United States - 1976
Director - George Armitage

I don't know much about this film apart from the synopses I've read various places. Sounds like a reactionary film with a vengeance. Vietnam Vet Kristofferson (a role he will reprise) recruits his bored combat vet buddies to crack down on some liberal labor types. This turns out to be largely unsubstantiated as virtually none of the characters are given any development with the exception of the three leads, Kristofferson Jan Michael Vincent and Bernadette Peters, so we get virtually no explanation of who or why.

The top poster is from Wrong Side of the Art,
this one is from IMP Awards.

I haven't been able to find Vigilante Force on DVD or VHS, but at the moment you can watch the whole movie at IMDB which is what I did. Reviews there and elsewhere describe it as exceptionally harsh and unforgiving, and Kristofferson's Aaron character as ruthless and brutal. I found none of the above to be true. It seemed like an hour and a half long episode of The Dukes of Hazzard with a little more violence and no shitty comedy. If like me you're a Vietnam completist, this might be worth watching for Kristofferson's villainized veteran, but otherwise, the posters are the best part.

25 February 2010

Monster Truck Bloopers 3


Monster Truck Bloopers 3
United States – 1993
Director – a bunch of drunk rednecks
Superior Promotions Inc., 1993, VHS
Run Time – 30 minutes

I have no personal experience with monster trucks. I have never been to a monster truck show and so, the only way I can make an assessment is through secondary sources. My impressions of monster truck culture are filtered through other people’s interpretations. They tell me what they think is interesting or important or fun about the event. Television advertisements for monster truck shows I assume, are intended to appeal to a slightly wider audience than the typical attendee. People who like something will consume it because they already know its merits. But you do have to present it in a format that will be comfortable to the established audience.


As such, my understanding of monster trucks is based on the accounts of people I know who have gone, and a handful of advertisements. From the former I have learned that monster truck shows are very, very loud, almost deafeningly so. Additionally I have been led to believe that monster truck shows are mostly just a stadium full of drunk redneck fistfights with trucks in the background. Understandably most of us notice the most shocking aspects of any experience, those things farthest outside our personal “normalcy”, and are likely to overemphasize those things in retelling. Hence it may be an artifact of cultural experience that all of the eyewitnesses whom I have talked to emphasize the overwhelming presence of rednecks and/or hillbillies brawling in the stands at monster truck shows.



That said, nobody has ever told me about what the trucks actually do at one of these events. It doesn’t appear to be entertaining enough for my friends to mention, or to keep the rednecks in their seats. My hope was that this tape would give me a glimpse into the monster truck culture as its participants see it, a self identification. Hence, I watched it with a feeling of anticipation, a desire to get an inside look at a foreign culture. Having done so, I found that it was simply monster trucks and other cars driving over and through stuff and then wrecking, machines pushed to cartoonish extremes. The tape lays this bare. I expected copious accidents, broken shit and wrecks, and I got them. But if this tape is really the primary source I believe it is, then clearly the breaking and wrecks are as much par for the course as the wheelies and crushed station wagons. There really is no such thing as a “blooper” in a niche field defined by boisterous extremes.

13 February 2010

Garden of the Dead


Garden of the Dead
United States - 1974
Director -John Hayes
Showcase Productions, 1988, VHS
Run Time - 1 hour, 26 minutes

I will probably never get around to writing anything of significant length about this film because it, or in any case, my copy of it, is absolutely terrible. I've gritted my teeth and drank my way through it twice, but it is a visual train-wreck of home video. The box art consists of a heavily cropped version of an already crappy poster and the synopsis reads like it was written by a warehouse clerk. The transfer of the film itself is a murky, grainy and painfully dark print that makes shooting day-for-night seem like a good idea.
Seeing as this tape was squeezed out some twelve years back, I can only hope that there is a better version available out there in this modern age of computronical video. The plot of the thing was pretty ridiculous and the acting on par with the hillbilly characters, but it seemed like it might be at least groan-worthy amusing. I can usually take bad, as long as I can see it.

14 December 2009

Dawn of the Dead Rednecks

Dawn of the Dead
United States – 1978
Director George Romero

Experiencing the original Dawn of the Dead to the fullest requires something more than a love of zombie cinema, it requires an intimate and profound understanding of American culture and the subtle and often overlooked social commentary of George Romero’s anti consumerist narrative. Part of this is exemplified in the main protagonists of the film; Peter, Fran, Roger and Stephen whom, devoid of any real character exposition hypothetically represent different cultural archetypes. But to cloister oneself in the confines of Romero’s narrative, like his protagonists in their cathedral of consumption, is to commit the same error Romero himself criticizes; the failure to question the nature of truth. Denial, especially within the post-modern meta-academic delusion is still not any kind of solution. To really experience Dawn of the Dead you need to look outside of the mall, through the keyholes at the outside world. To really experience Dawn of the Dead, you need Iron City Beer.

And this was just my goal when I invited some of my closest friends over for a night of flannel shirts, work boots and Pittsburgh’s finest lager, and most importantly a viewing of George Romero’s 1978 masterpiece Dawn of the Dead. The first time I saw Dawn was both prophetic and comedic for the same reason, and probably only to me. Nevertheless by that time I had tasted my first beer, and loved it, and by my third viewing had become intrigued by the scene in which the protagonists fled the city in Stephen’s stolen rotary-wing aircraft. As they pass over the pastoral farming landscape of southwestern Pennsylvania Stephen mutters, “Those rednecks are probably enjoying the whole thing.” (00:19:15)


Subsequent shots of the rednecks in question showed that his assessment was more than likely correct. But they weren’t just having fun, they were drinking Iron City Beer and having fun. Somehow in a bizarre twist of meta-perception, these guys really were enjoying the Dawn of the Dead. Unlike our protagonists who, by the time I had worked all this out mentally were already moping around in their mall. They were enjoying it the way I wanted to enjoy it; in participatory fashion.

Unfortunately when Iron City Beer first blipped on my hazy teenage radar in Dawn, it was for all intents and purposes a relic of a bygone era. Nevertheless it stuck in a corner of my brain and stayed there. And a good thing too, since ten years later working-class ironic-cool managed to drag Iron City out to the west coast in the wake of its better known “award’ winning competitor. My plan upon seeing it on retail shelves in my neighborhood was to really experience Dawn of the Dead along with my closest friends. For this event we would need the obvious stockpile; a gaggle or three of Iron City mortar-round bottles. Thusly provisioned by the local grocery mart, we safely ensconced ourselves in the house and settled in for an evening of watery lager and overt cinematic metaphors.

As elected representative of those present, I can safely declare the event a success. As it turned out, Iron City Beer had absolutely nothing to contribute to the experience unless you count innumerable bathroom visits and a shitty, shitty hangover. Based on personal experience I’ll wager that by the time the next Day of the Dead rolled around those rednecks were in pain. Fortunately for Romero and Dawn, the film remains awesome and its subtle cultural criticisms as timely as ever. It’s one of those few from its time that can be watched again and again given enough lapse time, and still reveal a new experience. Clearly those rednecks had one thing right though, to experience Dawn of the Dead you need good company.

Thanks to Phill, Amanda, Anna and Regis for sitting through this one with me.



And for the sake of box art, this is the first legitimate copy of the film I got, a double VHS from Anchor Bay. They subsequently suckered be into buying two different versions on DVD one of which, the Divimax version, we watched for this event. Below is the interior "gatefold" art from the above VHS version.



After exactly two years I'm pleased to announce that this is the 200th post on LVA. At roughly 8 posts a month what we lack in quantity we make up for in quality. You keep readin' 'em and we'll keep makin' 'em that way.

05 September 2009

Contagion


Contagion
Australia - 1987
Director – Karl Zwicky
Sony Video Software, 1988, VHS
Run Time – 1 hour, 30 min.

I don’t like narration, particularly when it’s vague and arcane and meant to add suspense to a film that appears about to not otherwise have any. I wasn’t expecting this to be Australian either and that’s set me off balance a little. A well-paced scene of a motorcyclist getting beheaded is nice, but ultimately it’s all implied and happens offscreen. There better be something redeeming, that’s the only way implied gore is tolerable, when there’s another hook.

When our protagonist Mark takes a drive in the woods and witnesses a girl getting kidnapped he tries to rescue her. A graphic and prolonged scene of her attackers fondling her is a bit unsettling and suggests this is actually going to be visceral. The attackers turn out to be mulleted Australian hillbillies who capture and sodomize Mark while wearing furry masks. I’m thinking it was less for having interrupted their city-girl raping than for having the audacity to sport a wee dust-ruffle mullet of his own. Mark later escapes after pickaxeing one of the hillbillies in the skull, traumatized to the point of losing all social grace and common sense. Worse than the yellow sweatshirt over a white button-up he's already wearing that is.


His first decision is to trust the two attractive women and the old guy in a robe who rescue him. These total strangers offer him limitless riches and sex if only he’ll “do the right thing” which he interprets to mean crushing and suffocating his co-workers to death and robbing and strangling his harpy of a wife.

Even though Mark is clearly desperate for financial gain his primary motivator quickly becomes the twins. Okay, my primary motivation became the twins, I did say that this movie needed another hook after all (and yes, all the deaths are still off-screen). Cleo and Helen are it and Mark and I keep hoping for more. It doesn’t matter that despite the notorious reliability of financial market speculators the old guy hasn’t proffered any actual cash. What matters is that the girls have delivered on their part of the bargain, repeatedly, at least in Mark’s head. I suspect that he’s hallucinating the whole thing, they are a bit out of his league and he’s still wearing the same filthy sweatshirt from the hillbilly ordeal.


I bought this movie based almost exclusively on the bad cover art which turned out to be deceptively accurate. It’s the title that doesn’t make much sense. It did make me think of a boob-sprinkled Aussie Cannibal Apocalypse plot, the trauma of tiger cages in ‘Nam and viral cannibalism replaced with hillbilly sodomy and shallow male fantasy. (guilty) The money is thrown in there just to round out the insanity. C’mon, hot Aussie nympho twins isn’t possibly enough to make a guy crazy right, but it will save a movie.

A Japanese clamshell VHS and an Italian DVD. I like the distributors logo on the VHS.


A UK VHS clamshell insert from It's Only A Movie(.co.uk).

27 June 2009

Tainted

1988 – United States
Director – Orestes Matacena
Southgate Entertainment, 1989, VHS
Run time – 1 hour, 30 min.

In this one Shari Shattuck (of Naked Cage) plays a grade school teacher with a perm. A terrible teacher with a terrible perm. I was too young to remember well, but I cannot fathom what the fuck people were thinking when the crispy tinsel look was considered attractive. It is beyond my ability to understand. This entire setting is bizarre, a sort of vortex of affluent whitetrashy conservatism where the storefronts all look hokey frontier style and the female teachers alternately sport yee-ha mullets and victorian beehives (see below) amongst a hive of palatial mansions.

Shari yuks it up at a fancy party with a bunch of rich assholes (aren’t they all) then later attends a do-see-do school dance event at her school. At the latter her husband becomes jealous of her flirtatious behavior towards another young teacher and complains about it later that night. The next day the school principal also warns her, but this potentially interesting plot thread is quickly forgotten in favor of personal hygene. Taking a bath to ease the stress of accusatory scrutiny, Shari exposes a bit more than intended, but the bum at the window doesn’t mind. In fact he considers it encouragement and walks right in to the unlocked house. He finds Shari in a special toweling off position that he also finds encouraging for some reason, god only knows, so he tries to rape her.

During the subsequent struggle her husband gets home and joins in the scuffle. After stabbing the bum to death with his own switchblade, already jealous husband accuses Shari of soliciting the bum, and then has a heart attack. Wracked with guilt for having done absolutely nothing wrong up to this point she decides not to call the police but dispose of the bodies herself; the husband in a car to be “discovered” by the police and the bum, in the front yard.

Here the film suddenly switches gears from an erotic thriller into a disconnected series of horror-comedy snafu’s. Pretty much a downshift from Single White Confederate Female to Slasher Weekend at Bernie's, only without the slasher, yet.


Telephones ring with condolence calls driving poor Shari insane. But are they real calls or is she really insane, and just practicing her “bereaved” act for the inevitable interrogation? Moments after selling her house in a barely-alluded-to prior tangent, and while she is clearly still living there, the people who bought it decide to dig a pool in the front yard threatening to unearth the decaying bum.

Worst Enemy (Park Overall) left, and Cathy (Shari Shattuck) discussing the finer points of grave robbery.

To prevent the corpse from being disinterred, Shari conspires with her worst enemy to dig it up, but on the way to the family mortuary/crematorium they suddenly find themselves in an inner-city slum and out of gas. They frighten off a band of street punks with the dead body, and re-emerge from the ghetto-wormhole back in Dixieland and at the funeral home.

Remember that guy at the beginning of the movie who was doing it with Shari’s enemy in that one brief scene? Yeah well he’s also the mortuaries loony embalming guy who suddenly plays the key role as a last-minute calculating psychopathic murderer. Whatever, in any case he gives Shari the opportunity she should have taken at the beginning of this madness, namely to duck out of this haphazard film.