Ninja Operation: Licensed to Terminate

Ninja Operation: Licensed to Terminate

Hong Kong - 1987

Director - Joseph Lai/Godfrey Ho

Imperial Entertainment Corp., 1989, VHS

Run Time - 1 hour, 29 minutes

Revenge of the Godfather

Revenge of the Godfather

Original Title: L’amico del padrino (The Godfather’s Friend)

Italy – 1972

Director – Frank Agrama

Saturn Productions Incorporated Video, 1988, VHS

Run Time – 1 hour, 27 minutes

I am always amazed at the proliferance of the Vietnam Veteran stereotype. Popular mythology about Vietnam pointed to its uniquely extreme juxtaposition of decadence and violence that left its U.S. victims socially scrambled. Hence, they return to the world but are unable to fit in, and use their military skills to perform extralegal jobs, as Richard, the former chemical warfare specialist does when he uses “heart attack gas” to whack the Godfather’s enemies. In the case of Revenge of the Godfather however, it is merely a passing point of interest in a story that really revolves around two war buddies who went separate ways after the ‘Nam. Like many Italian movies, the difference between their moral poles is somewhat ambiguous in Revenge of the Godfather. See, Antonio and Richard (Richard Harrison) may have gone different directions on the path of good and evil, but they’re both womanizing hitmen working for the mafia.

Richard is haunted by the memory of a childhood birthday party in which several hitmen burst into his home in the middle of the birthday song, and murdered his sister and mother. He still dislikes his job, but uses it merely as an opportunity to track down his family’s killers, thus making his murders righteous. His old buddy Antonio is just the opposite, using his ‘Nam skills for self enrichment. He relishes his job and dresses, speaks and acts in an uncouth manner, is unshaven and constantly patronizes Richard. Let’s be perfectly honest here, there was no question that Richard Harrison was the good guy the moment he walked on screen, but this film is directed by auteur of incoherence Frank Agrama, the guy who brought us such classics as Dawn of the Mummy. Agrama’s aversion to coherence makes it difficult to verify any plot thread for certain. It was only with the addition of two women that differences besides fashion sense became apparent between Richard and Antonio.

Layla is younger and more attractive but also needy and Richard gives her the boot for being too demanding and clingy. Jenny (Erika Blanc) however is more calculating and  more loyal, and with some trepidation she accepts his cold reserved attitude. Antonio immediately uses Layla, but rejects her demands for reciprocation. By the end of the movie she returns to Richard, where though marginalized, she at least feels safe. Eventually in the final scenes she is killed outright helping Richard during a firefight with his former employer’s men. Richard’s emotional distance and secretiveness are crucial to his identity, and Jenny's acceptance of this mark her as the proper woman, subordinate to the male need for freedom of action and from explanation.

Richard never tells anyone what his motivations really are (we only know because of some confusing flashback scenes) and whether or not this is intentional, or due to another careless transfer from Saturn Video, it works hand-in-glove with Agrama’s narrative minimalism. Inserting the Vietnam reference is an easy way to “explain” a lot of shit without having to explore it, and it gets Agrama off the hook in a sense. Not Richard. The Italian sensibility is rather less wedded to the notion of righteousness and moral redemption than your usual Hollywood fare, and though the signs may point to our hero having the moral high-ground, that doesn’t guarantee him a sunset to ride off into.

Fists of Dragons/Ninja Terminator via Ninja Theater & Sho Kosugi

There is only one thing worse than a mutilated box. No box at all, but still.

Fists of Dragons (Hao xiao zi)
a.k.a. Little Rascals of Kung Fu
China - 1980
Director - Yeh Yung Chu
Trans World Entertainment, 1986, VHS
Run Time - 1 hour, 32 minutes

The uncut box claims that the film was directed by Yeh Yung Chu, and the opening credits on the tape confirm this. The actors listed at IMDB are exactly the same, but the director is listed as Wing-Cho Yip. Furthermore IMDB gives one of the alternate titles as Cunning Kids, which was confirmed by an image search that turned up the artwork below at Rare Kung Fu Movies under bothFists of Dragons and Cunning Kids. And in fact, after re watching the film, I can confirm that they are the same, except for the dubbing of course.

I picked up this film not because of Sho Kosugi, but because it was recomended at some point as a potential film for Kung Fu Grindhouse. As I recall it was not worthy, though it's been years since I watched it. The interesting thing to me now is of course the presence of Kosugi who merely presents the film. Really it's more of an introduction, and let me tell you, at bit of a sad one at that. The series name should give you some clue to the depths to which the video marketing industry had already sunk by 1986. Last time I checked, Ninja's didn't really have much to do with China, so why is this wu-shu movie under the title "Ninja Theater?" Because the American public were slaves to the very word ninja.
Kosugi himself offers only a brief demonstration of the use of the ninjitsu katana, noting that it is straight and shorter than the typical Japanese sword. Then he fights some guys for a minute or two before introducing the film as a "demonstration of some excellent Chinese Boxing."
There's something more than a little disheartening about lumping all of these distinct elements under the concept of martial arts.
Ninja, kung-fu, ehhhhhhhh, it's all oriental, right?

The Chinese VHS box art for Cunning Kids from Rare Kung Fu Movies

But there is more...
Over at The Scandy Factory, the Scandy Man has posted this nice image of the Ninja Theater version of Ninja Terminator. (right) His awesome post includes the intro sequence with Sho Kosugi's demo, a must watch to be sure, and some ephemera from the Sho Kosugi ninja fan club. This is one of my all time favorite movies of all fucking ever, comparable perhaps only to Challenge of the Tiger. Both of these are highly contingent on the fact that they star Richard "God Among Men" Harrison. Ninja Terminator was given a fantastic DVD release from Video Asia as part of the Silver Fox collection, and Challenge of the Tiger was double-featured by Mondo Macabro b-sided with For Your Height Only.

A Swedish VHS box insert courtesy Rolfens DVD.

German insert box courtesy Critical Condition.

From my own meager shelves.

Not to be confused with this Ninja Terminator, part of an Anchor Bay double VHS box from 1995. I haven't watched this specific film, but Ninja Wars, the A-film is a chopped version of "Black Magic Wars" (?) or Iga Ninpocho, a graphicaly violent but ultimately slooooow Japanese samurai gorror film. Aren't they all?

This started as a post about one movie and evolved into a morass of ninja insanity. Thanks for your dedication.

Ninja: Silent Assassin

Ninja: Silent Assassin

1984 – Hong Kong

Director – Godfrey Ho

Imperial Entertainment Corp., 1988, VHS

There’s been a lot of the Godfrey Ho movies recently and for that I apologize, mostly to myself, but business is business and it has to get done. This one I picked up because of the promise of Richard “Dick” Harrison, and sure enough there he is in full ninja getup in the credit sequence.
Some multiracial goons hash out a drug deal with some bread that goes sour before being broken up by a gymnastic flipping black narcotics agent Alvin. One of the goons, Lenny is captured and after smoking over the problem agrees to turn in his boss Rudolph for the promise of cash and immunity.

On the other end of the line however is Rudolph an angry and ugly Australian ninja who quickly orders Alvin and Lenny executed ninja style when he catches wind of the deal.
Alvin returns home to suck face with his underage wife on their anniversary, but the ninjas show up and Alvin isn’t able to switch into his ninja outfit quick enough to save her. Dying in his arms choking on her own blood she exhorts him over the course of a long conversation not to seek revenge. When he is taken off the case at work he returns home gets drunk and hallucinates his wife. That’s enough to drive him insane and he packs his ninja gear for HK.

Rudolph is already there meeting with his ugly business partner who’s running the streets with his coarse menacing asian flunky Tiger across an invisible editing vortex.
Dick finally shows up again, a hard nosed cop on the HK vice-squad assigned to catch the Rudolph Mafia. Dangerously rupturing the fabric of time and space, Dicks boss actually holds up a photograph of one of the Asian characters in the film and a stuccato of random fighting pours from the breach.
In a progression of confusing unmaskings it’s hard to keep track of who is who, and who is who’s proxy Asian fighting against who’s proxy Asian in a fluttering morass of ugly white men in sparkly ninja outfits and Asian people dancing in goofy 80’s fashion.

Dick is dismissed from the Rudolph case by his smug tool of a boss, and he and Alvin; restless angry ninja with matching yellow outfits, finally team up to fight their way through Rudolphs henchmen. It takes the destruction of Rudolphs entire drug shipment, this time concealed in watermelons before he agrees over the phone to meet Dick and Alvin at the reservoir in full ninja regalia for some loud, face-to-face grappling.

Actually, this might be one of Godfrey Ho’s more watchable ninja-frankenfilms, Ninja: Silent Assassin manages to skim the fetid cream off the top off of some very spoiled milk.

Ninja Hunt

Ninja Hunt
1983 – Hong Kong
Director – Joseph Lai
AEE, 1992, VHS

No doubt this is going to be a shit fest, Joseph Lai is as far as I’m concerned essentially a pseudonym/alter ego for the notorious Godfrey Ho, thief-master frankenfilmmaker extraordinaire. In any case the name Joseph Lai certainly carries it’s own stigma of shit.

Some ninja, knowing the lasting virulence of the magnetic tape format, steal a secret formula recorded on video tape, which it is rumored can give soldiers a morale boost/bloodlust. They bring it to their goofily yellow clad boss, White Man #1.

Richard Harrison, in the trying role of White Man #2 is called in to investigate the disappearance of the formula cassette. In lieu of appearing in the remainder of the film, White Man #2 calls on his Asian assistant, Aaron who will never appear in the same frame as WM2, to do the legwork and dangerous investigation part of the dangerous legworky investigation. Clearly, this indicates that this is a strictly Asian film with nuggets of white meat haphazardly deep-fried in it for overseas marketability.

Aaron quickly befriends a pint-sized hustlin’ street kid who’s down with all the top Asian gangsta’s in Hong Kong, including Campbell, who’s sleeping with Billys mother. Aaron is repeatedly mugged by Campbells goons, and then there is a dance-club scene with stolen Michael Jackson music.

Suddenly WM1 and his white-man ninjas appear again in silly costumes, muttering administrative business and plotting against WM2. WM2 appears at Billys moms home and confesses to fathering the runt, followed by an inter WM ninja fight.

There is a rock/paper/scissors match at a dance club which devolves into a slapfight and crap, crap, unintelligible crap.As WM2 and his imperialist ninja administration team plan the colonial crackdown on the other Asian four fifths of this film, Billy suffers the culmination of emotional trauma at the hands of his mother who has insisted his whole life that he refer to her as “Auntie” and wear hideous plaid sportscoats.

Finally, heaving themselves bodily from behind their fiercely monolithic mass produced oaken administrative desks, the WM scuffle heartily over the videotape and eventually the winner gets a soft-on.

This means there were at least 20,136 other tapes belonging to the club:

A slightly less crappy poster version of the cover image: