16 May 2009

Land of Doom

United States - 1984
Director- Peter Maris
Avid Home Entertainment, 1992, VHS

Not very many movies have the guts to boldly declare on the back of the box, which movies they knocked off. Land of Doom is one such movie. its awesomely alluring painted cover by Renato Casaro which promises the beginning of a battle (involving a gauntlet-crossbow with five fingers and no thumb) and has at least one scene from the movies that inspired Land of Doom.

The battle begins with an extensive raid scene which goes on and on with numerous killings and rapes. Amidst all the screaming, in one fiery hut a blonde woman, Harmony, fights off a caveman with a meat cleaver and escapes to another nearby cave where she encounters a wounded foxy dude named Anderson. Bent on building a better wasteland, Anderson lays a heavy peace and love trip on Harmony, overcoming her outright hostility enough to convince her to travel as a team. They are shortly caught by a goofy/crazy bad guy who laughs and taunts them, but repeatedly emphasizes his goofy/craziness, and frosts that little cupcake of irritation with stupid. Saved by Harmony, Anderson works on his own bakers dozen of unrelenting irritating utopian babble-ass, and Harmony understandably tries to ditch him again.

They wind up at some rock houses carved out of cliffs and boulders, and there is a battle which they watch from afar and then steal a motorcycle with ridiculous “post-apocalyptic” scrap metal armor welded on, using it to run away. Moments later, the bike runs out of gas right near some other rock-houses. These ones inhabited by French post-apocalyptic hillbillies whom Harmony and Anderson ask for food.

Discovering that the French have served them human meat, H & A flee again and watch another battle from a hilltop.

Some movies are not very good but have a few exciting set pieces or scenes to wake you up and make the rest of the movie worth sitting through. Land of Doom has none of those. The interesting scenery and typical, if entertaining apocalypse gear is worth a laugh or two. But sadly, like Anderson's droning future-hippie psycho-babble, this uniquely terrible movie is little more than an exercise in monotony.

This poster from Wrong Side of The Art is way better, but it looks like Harmony is accidentally discharging her weapon.

The concept art for the sequel from the directors website Maris Entertainment.

Turkish Land of Doom box art from Post Apocalypse.

And some Australian box art from Rolfens DVD. I'm sure the Aussies loved the taint of this movie on their homegrownpost-apoc franchise.


serdarot said...

Well, I know one shouldn't judge the book by its covers but this one pretty much spells out what you will see inside. So, 2 seconds of looking at the artwork saves 90 minutes of your life. That's efficiency for you!

The Goodkind said...

I don't know, I find the artwork really deceptive.